"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing”

I can't believe that it has already been 2 months since my last treatment.  I have been feeling really good and am anxious to get my life back!  I just recently booked my PET scan for May...and then the fear hit me.  I am terrified for this appointment.  The fear of the unknown along with the waiting game is difficult to mentally process.  You try to stay busy and keep your mind clear of all the negative thoughts, but it seems inevitable to be scared.  Along with being scared comes the emotionsand I have been really emotional...mostly sad and scared of dying.  Again...it's the unknown.  My step-mom e-mailed me a link to a you-tube video which of course brought me to tears...ok maybe to sobbing, but it was beautiful and inspirational too.  For that reason I wanted to share the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfcKvevod3k

"Commit to be fit"

I decided that I should start getting some excercise...start out small and work myself back into the routine.  As the dietician had told me, all of the weight that I had lost was my muscle mass not fat.  And believe me I felt it.  I felt like a fat skinny girl.  Sure I looked smaller...but I looked a lot jigglier too...and jigglier in all the wrong places!  After about 4 days of doing a few minutes (5 minutes) on the eliptical and some (maybe 20) crunches on the ball, my best friend had a great idea.  Her idea...let's do Insanity together.  What was my response...why not!  I mean in reality, when have I ever really taken things slow...I'd rather just jump right in.  Let's just say the fit test alone kicked my butt.  It has been three weeks since we started and I can definately see some results...even with taking some "extra" and "extra long" breaks during the exercise.  I mean watching the video should count for something too...right?!?!

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page"

I meant to post sooner, but...(I really don't have an excuse except pure laziness). 

The trip that Zack and I went on was amazing!  It was everything I needed and more.  We had great company and beautiful weather.  Teri and Jon's wedding was beautiful and they had perfect weather.  If I could leave tomorrow, I would be on a plane back to the sand.  I tried to take it easy...something I have a hard time doing.  I spent a majority of the day lounging by the pool or on the beach, and was in bed by 10:30 each night. 

One of the excursions that I really wanted to do was ziplining, so Zack and I signed ourselves up.  The ziplining was amazing.  We took a tour bus an hour through the small towns and up the mountain.  We lucked out as our resort was the last to be picked up and the first to be dropped off :).  The trip on the mountain was exciting and the roads were so bumpy and steep.  As for the ziplining, there was 11 different platforms and 8 ziplines.  At times you could get up to 50km/hour.  There was a little bit of hiking at some points which I wasn't anticipating...but I made it!  I will definately be doing it again.

 

We also tried out surfing!  We attended a half day at El Macao Surf Camp with Robyn and Tyson.  We were all given dryland training and once we got onto the water we each had our own instructor working with us.  Let's just say it is not as easy as it look...well at least not for me!  But we all managed to get up...some more than others, the other being me, haha.  However, I ended up over doing it.  Over doing it + waves + accidentally drinking whole lot of salt water = sick.  At one point I held on to my surf board (dry heaving) and drifted down the beach just hoping someone would come save me, lol.  After the surfing experience I spent 24 hours in bed :(.  Was it worth it???  At least I can say I surfed...not well, but it is good enough for me.



I am definately looking forward to my next vacation!